The Journey of Spiritual Clarity: Reflections from Childhood

There’s a thing about distance that makes you cling tighter to the things you fear losing. Being away from home makes you ponder how easily you can begin to lose your connection from your spirituality and faith. These kinds of fears perhaps are good for your soul, as they make you seek your purpose and drive you back to your roots. The more I reflect on Asa di Vaar, the more I realize how far we humans have drifted from the truth of life and have become all things materialistic where kindness has just become a rarity rather than a way of life!

I have always been drawn more to Guru Nanak Dev Ji’s Bani- whether it’s Japji Sahib, Bara Maha or Aarti. These teachings always play in the background of my memories and get me through those heavy moments in life. As I have just started learning about Asa Di Vaar, I felt how could I be so ignorant for not being fully aware of this treasure trove all this while. I used to hear it in the form of Kirtan in the Gurudwara, or on the TV but never really paid attention to the purpose and the depth these sacred tunes carried. That changed when I started watching the live stream Harmandir Sahib, reading and reflecting on the translations that appeared with each verse.

The world around me moves at an exhausting pace. Everyone is indulged in this vicious cycle of – competing, getting ahead, chasing success. Life itself seems like an aimless race with no finish line. I observe it in the tiniest of interactions around me. There’s this constant comparison, to prove something which has led us to straight up selfishness which stole the very essence of the warmth of humanity. We recite prayers, chant sacred hymns yet our actions don’t align with the words we say.

Writing this blog, I was taken back to a childhood memory. My childhood was wrapped in the simple rhythms of life- school, home, studies and play. Every evening after mom helped me and my sibling with homework we used to play in our garden with the neighbourhood kids. The golden evenings and the melodies of Kirtan after Rehras Sahib from nearby Gurudwara used to blend with our laughter. I could be probably 11 or 12 years old. I distinctly remember hearing the shabad “Santa ki ott tu, Saccha Sirjan-haara” Something clicked to my mind, and I ran to my mother eager to tell her that I learnt something new. Or at least I thought I learnt something....

With all confidence, I exclaimed “Mamma, I know the meaning of this Shabad”. Bit surprised, she asked me to explain I replied” God is saying he has given up! He has lost to humans as no one listens to him anymore. He quit.”

Without interrupting me, she listened to my reasoning further. As I continued saying “You see, yesterday, I heard someone lying on the phone. They said they weren’t home when they were! We keep doing things we shouldn’t, and God quit. She slightly shook her head and smiled at me and said “No, Gurnoor, it doesn’t mean that at all”. Mum explained as she often did, that “Saccha, Sirjanhaara” means that the Creator, the lord is the eternal truth. He never quits. I felt, little embarrassed accepting her words to realize I had got it all wrong.

Now years later, as I think about this memory today, I laugh about my naïve interpretation. But it holds its own weight and sad relevance in today’s time. I wonder if Sirjanhaar has accepted his defeat, watching this state of the world. Yet, I understand the true essence of Shabad today but still there’s this flicker of light, which guides my way. I remind myself about the positivity of Gurbani I grew up with.  As it gives me the hope to seek the eternal truth of the all-pervading almighty.

And that’s the thing about hope, it grows everywhere! - guiding us back to the truth even in the darkest moments.

Illustration Credit: @thequotepotpourri